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This evening I had the misfortune of learning that a co-worker in my department — someone who works right across the hall from me — took his own life today.

I wasn’t especially close with this person, but I did consider him a friend. We always bantered back and forth across the hall about all sorts of different things: sports, current events, computers, etc. We shared many hearty laughs together as we observed the absurd and quirky things that pop up in the news from time to time. He was a witty, intelligent man, and I always enjoyed our exchanges. I will miss him.

My sadness at the waste and tragedy of his premature death is eclipsed only by the haunting thought of the despair and wretchedness that drove him to this end. In my mind’s eye, I could almost see his last moments. I glimpsed, for an instant, the nether depths of misery and hopelessness that would blind someone to every solution but the one that seems to offer permanent escape and repose. What a frighteningly wretched, pitiable, hopeless estate. I am horrified by it.

I have no reason to think that anyone who is considering suicide will see The MonT-SteR Report, but just in case, I have these words. No matter how desolate, how alone, how wretched and worthless you may feel, somebody you know cares. Somebody you have a relationship with will mourn your loss with tears and heartache. They will wish for your company again. They will ask themselves over and over again what they could have done to keep you alive. No matter how many wrong turns your life has taken, it has value. God made you in His image and likeness, and you are priceless to Him. No matter how many mistakes you’ve made, no matter how many problems you’ve caused, no matter how many times people have said you don’t matter, you are not beyond His reach. Take it from me — He specializes in embracing the nobodies in this world, the people everybody casts aside as undesirable and unimportant, and making them into heroes. He can take your messed up life and transform it into a trophy of His grace. He will become your reason for living.

The Bible says that God’s love for you has been demonstrated in that Jesus willingly died for you — in spite of the fact that your life feels like such a messy failure right now. Jesus called Himself the Good Shepherd, saying that a good shepherd will put his life on the line for the sheep he is tending. Jesus, the Son of God, did just that for you. He thought you were worth the price of His own suffering and shed blood.

Jesus also said that the devil roams about as a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Satan is a murderer, and the father of all lies. He does nothing but steal, kill, and destroy. He would love nothing more than to see you cut your own life short. Jesus, on the other hand, wants you to have a long, fruitful, meaningful existence. Would you consider giving your life to Him now, rather than ending it? Here’s how — just pray something like this:

God, I’m in a really dark place right now. I have nowhere to turn, no hope left. But You sent your Son, Jesus Christ, because You love me. He died for my sins so that I could have eternal life. Please forgive me for all the wrong things I’ve done. I put my trust in You. My life is such a mess right now, but I believe that you can do something good with it. So I give it all to You. Would You please come into my heart now? Would You please make my life new? Would You please pour Your love into my soul? Help me to know that You are now my Father, and I am Your child. Thank you for hearing my prayer. Amen.

Don’t be ashamed to ask for help. Here are some resources:

  • National Suicide Hopeline — 1-800-SUICIDE
  • If you’d like someone to pray for you, 24 hours a day, you can contact the Christian Broadcasting Network’s Prayer Counselors at 1-800-759-0700.
  • To learn more about giving your life to Jesus Christ, call 1-888-NEED HIM.

God is near to the brokenhearted, and He saves the crushed in spirit. He is the God of all comfort, who comforts us in the midst of our affliction. I pray that His strong hand meets, comforts, and sustains you in your hour of need.

Love and blessings to you through Jesus Christ,


aka The MonT-SteR