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From a phone conversation I had today with Mrs. MonT-SteR:

The MonT-SteR: When you bring my lunch, can you also bring that new CD?

Mrs. MonT-SteR: The classical one?

TM: Yeah, the Anne-Sophie Mutter one with the Tchaikovsky and Korngold concertos on it. Did you see it?

MM: I think so. I think I put it on top of the entertainment center.

TM: It has her picture on it. Her thin picture, that is. She’s the one I was telling you about who seems to vacillate between being overweight and very thin. It’s kind of unusual. During her “large” times, she looks more like an opera singer than a violinist.

MM: Nice sterotype, Rob.

TM: Well, there’s a reason for the saying, “It ain’t over `till the fat lady sings.” They’re referring to an opera singer, not a violinist.

MM: (Sarcastically) So there are no overweight violinists?

TM: I can’t think of any. The only one I can think of is Ytzakh Perlman, and the guy can’t walk.

MM: That’s ridiculous. You really think there aren’t any overweight violinists?

TM: Name for me an overweight violin soloist. Joshua Bell? Sorry.

MM: Oh, you’re talking about professional violinists.

TM: Yes, but come to think of it, I don’t remember seeing any overweight violinists at CIM either. Do you?

MM: (Laughing) You’re a nut.

TM: It’s true! Think about it. They spend all that time in a practice room just sawing away. They burn a lot of calories, I’ll bet.

MM: So you really think there are no overweight violinists?

TM: I’m not saying it never happens, but in my experience it’s rare.

MM: Then anyone who’s overweight should just take up the violin, huh?

TM: (Laughs heartily) Yeah, the Violin Diet.


aka The MonT-SteR